A Huzzah to Millennials killing everything - By a Millennial

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

I had an article pushed to me by LinkedIn from Business Insider titled:

‘Psychologically scarred’ millennials are killing countless industries from napkins to Applebee’s — here are the businesses they like the least

I wanted to go through their list and put a bit of dialogue around a Canadian’s perspective on all these alleged failures. (Yep, Dialogue. We have French in our English). You can see the original article here.

1. Casual Dining Chains

The article references Applebee’s. I’ve personally never been to Applebee’s so I’m going to reference a chain that I used to go to all the time - Boston Pizza. For me to get a Bandera Pizza Bread at Boston Pizza, I can expect to pay $11.50 for Bandera Pizza Bread - a delightful treat.

… Pizza dough with some cheese on it. $11.50.
The last time I went to Boston Pizza once we had ordered a couple appetizers (let’s just say 2 pizza breads @ $23.00) and an entree - Let’s just say a medium pizza ($25.00) we’re already pushing $50 bucks. I can get that at home for $15. I make pizza at home.

2. Beer

Beer! If I want to buy 12 cans for $31 bucks. A case per week runs you a $1500 a year habit. Who’s got that kind of income kicking around these days? This is in Alberta, mind you. I’ve been told that same case of banquet in Montreal is $15 however that could be an exaggeration

3. Napkins

Glorified Paper Towel.

4. “Breastaurant” chains like Hooters

a) I only know of Hooters as a Breastauraunt b) The de-sexualization of breasts has been going on for years - of course people aren’t interested anymore – Also inb4 any cries of sexism etc. I know more women interested in going to Hooters than males. My now wife actually requested to stop at the hooters in West Edmonton Mall something like 7 years ago. Did I feel both tested and awkward!

5. Cereal

My dad used to force me to drink the dregs of milk from cereal. There shouldn’t be chunks in my liquids. Therefore Cereal is gross.

6. Golf

I love playing golf. My bank account hates me playing golf. I play an average round at an average course without a cart and it’s going to run $70 bucks. (for a 6:30 am tee time) I recently played a round where 2 coffees (small coffees) ran us $5.50. Thanks for the next level of gouging.

7. Motorcycles

I’d love one - I have other financial obligations before I can consider it though. Especially with our climate here in AB. Hard to justify $20-$30k on a bike I can ride for 5 months a year at most

8. Home Ownership

  • I bought one in 2013. Market slipped. If I sell today I’ll just break even. Brutal.
  • $500k for a house in Edmonton is ridiculous. Thanks realtors for bloating our markets. Try recovering your realtor fees on the sale of your house - of course costs are going to increase.

9. Yogurt

Uh – No comment I guess? I like yogurt. Greek yogurt. Even then it’s ridiculously expensive.

10. Bars of Soap

Liquid soap - get with the times

11. Diamonds.

I fell into this trap. Wish I didn’t. Salesmen are so sleazy too. Buy this and if you don’t like it or want to upgrade we will give you the value of your diamond today, Guaranteed! Yeah, thanks for trying to tell me you’ll take my (probable) increased-in-value-rock and give me what I paid for it (x) years ago. As if making a market where I’m supposed to buy expensive rocks wasn’t enough.

12. Fabric Softener

If you’re going to try to trick us into buying more useless products, stop bumping the price on them. Kthxbi

13. Banks

Record profits year over year. In Canada - one of our most profitable industries. All they do is take my money and charge me fees to do so. They’re the top 5 most profitable companies in Canada. WTF!? My RRSP investor that the bank has assigned to me has NO idea how stocks work nor are they capable of providing me any actual advice. They also don’t have their own RRSP’s because, and I quote, they are ‘Not in a high enough income bracket to afford them’

14. Department Stores

Price match Amazon or find a way to. OR make my shopping experience pleasurable. Last time I went to Sears I hunted for anyone to give me a hand finding a pair of shoes in my size. Finally left the store 1.5 hours later. Ain’t no one got time for that.

15. Designer Handbags

I wish my wife would fall into this one. Enough with the handbags! Props though - she only buys them from Winners or Marshall’s when they’re on sale. Maybe that’s part of the reason no one is buying your $500 sac?

16. Gyms

I recently had a tough decision to make around work. I had an offer but they didn’t have a gym. Current job had a free gym. I stayed at current work. Gym memberships are obscene. The market will fix this eventually. A gym on every corner - diluted client base - increased membership fees to cover operating expenses. Once a few go out of business then we’ll be fixed.

17. Home Improvement Stores

Well if no one is buying homes then what are they expecting to improve?

18. Football

I love football. I won’t pay the stupid price that we pay for Cable packages (upwards of $150 a month if you want anything decent) THEN extra cash for NFL Sunday Ticket. Just so I can get spammed with more advertisements than content (it feels like, at least). Thank’s for taking my money to make money off of me. DAZN seems almost worth it. We shall see though.

19. Oil

I’m pro oil, so I don’t understand this one.

I noticed a common theme in my complaining: Cost.

  1. Everyone today feels they deserve loads of cash for doing menial tasks. (hence the pushes for $15/hr minimum wages) which leads to…
  2. Prices keep going up (Tim Horton’s coffee has had price increases almost annually here as of late. The last causing me to decide I’m not buying coffee daily anymore) and quality keeps going down. (Tim Horton’s original blend tastes like dishwater now. Dark Roast is not bad)
  3. The things we’ve been convinced we need. Cell Phones… Here’s some greed for you Bell Mobility cost increase over a mere 1.5 years

People seem to be more aware of the fact that they’re being taken to the cleaners. Personally, I look for value. If I’m not getting $150 / month worth of entertainment out of a cable subscription then I won’t have it much longer.

If my work had open WIFI I’d be abandoning my costly cell phone plan and rolling back to just minutes and I’d piggyback data around elsewhere. I might just do that regardless. We will see.

I guess this is a good a time as any to end this rant.



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